Showing posts with label http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/one_liner_jokes/sarcastic_quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/one_liner_jokes/sarcastic_quotes. Show all posts

Sunday, July 24, 2011

would like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I'm afraid they'll be used against me in a court of law someday. 

you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.


When life gives you a lemon, say 'Lemons? I like lemons. What else have you got?'


You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.


This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.


“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”


It takes SKILL to trip over flat surfaces.
There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and
~Brad Ramsey